Misfortune of a mind reader
by Noir d'Encre
Summary: Serie of one-shots focusing on the ups and downs of mindreading. Hearing the thoughts of others can lead to many unusual, funny or embarrassing situations. Presents all the Cullens, and many family moments. Canon.
1. An Annoying Old Lady

Ok. So, this is the first fanfic I write in English. It's not my first language, so be generous (but you can still tell me if I have done a lot of mistakes (and where)). In fact, I translated one of my own story, so, if you speak french, you can read the original.

If it is not too badly written, I might translate the other two chapter, so let me know if you like it.

So that's it. Enjoy!

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**An annoying Old Lady**

_Carlisle PoV_**  
**

This day, Edward had come to the hospital, like he liked to do, sometimes. At first, I was worrying when he did that. He was still young, and an accident could happen really suddenly. But I had to admit that he had a good self-control. I was really proud of him, and very glad he was by my side.

So, there he was, sitting in a corner of the room, reading, while I was seeing my last few patients. Finally, it was the last one's turn. It was an old woman, half-deaf, apparently. She didn't seem to understand me very well. She seemed to have a bad cold and she had nearly completely lost her voice because of it, so I couldn't understand what she was saying. The communication would be really hard.

Except… Maybe Edward could make himself useful and translate her thought to me? I sent him a sideway glance to find out what he thought about that. He was staring at the old lady, frowning.

This worried me, at first. I rarely saw him concentrate that much on anybody, let alone a mere old woman. But he seemed to be in control. He didn't seem to fight an irrepressible thirst. So I brought my mind back to the old lady, who was innocently looking at me. She didn't look anything unusual…

_What is she thinking?_ I thought at Edward.

Was she the superstitious kind of old woman? Maybe she had understood what we were. It happened sometimes… But she wouldn't smile like this if she thought her doctor was a vampire…

The only answer I received from Edward was an annoyed growl. I shot a curious glance at him. He was still staring at the lady, looking more and more annoyed. She couldn't have really guessed our true nature, could she?

Edward shook his head no. Then he seemed to force himself to go back to his book, muttering.

So, I brought my attention back to my patient. Now, she was looking at Edward. She had probably followed my glance, earlier, and she was now smiling at him, with the same innocent face she had since she entered the room. Although still wondering about Edward's strange behavior, I started to examine the old lady. The poor woman nearly couldn't talk. Once or twice, I mentally asked Edward for help, but that just annoyed him further, so I gave up. I tried my best to understand the old lady's difficult talking all by myself, still wondering what she could do to annoy him that much. I could see from the corner of my eye that, from time to time, he would let his eyes slip in her direction before he caught himself and went back to his book, grumbling. Yet, she didn't seem hypocrite or mean…

Or was she fantasizing about him? I couldn't help but smile at that. It wouldn't be the first time.

"It's not that" Edward said from his corner, low enough so only I could hear him.

_What is it, then?_ I asked in my mind.

He let out a frustrated growl.

"Nothing! Forget it!"

I finished examining the lady and prescribed her a treatment. As soon as I was ready to go, Edward got up and led the way, in a bad mood and in a hurry to leave.

"What is it?" I asked him, worried.

He looked at me for a second, let out an exasperated sigh and gave me a tense smile.

"It's really nothing. It's not important."

Then why was he so pissed?

"For nothing" He grumbled, his smile gone.

I didn't push it. He didn't calm down all the way back home, grumbling and muttering like any teenager in a fit. As soon as we got home, he ran straight to the library in my study and I heard him take out some dozen of books. Disconcerted by his behavior, I followed him.

"What are you doing?"

It wasn't surprising to see him read, but I thought he would have rather go to play piano to calm down.

"I'm learning German!" He said sharply.


	2. In Double

Hi everybody! Since no one told me that my writing sucked, I decided to post an other chapter. So, this one is even shorter than the last one, and I don't like it as much. But still, I found the idea rather funny, so there it is!

I hope you like it!

* * *

**In Double**

_Carlisle PoV_

Winter was coming. Edward had destroyed his coat the last time we hunted. It was impossible not to bring attention on yourself when you walk around in the snow with only a shirt. And that meant shopping. We didn't enjoy it that much.

The saleswoman nearly had a heart attack when she saw us go in her store. From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward roll his eyes.

While going further in the store, we crossed a very pretty young woman, well, for a human, that is. But I noticed that she was wearing only one sock… Curious…

I wouldn't have paid her much attention if Edward didn't turned around when she passed us, with a hypnotized look. No! It wasn't the time to lose control! We were in public! A horror movie's scene wasn't the best thing to happen in the middle of a store, in the middle of the day. I gripped his shoulder to restrain him, should he try to go for her throat. But he just stared after her, eyes intense with concentration, fascinated.

Then another theory came to me. Love at first sigh, maybe?

"Don't be ridiculous, Carlisle" Edward said with a roll of his eyes, breaking his concentration while the girl went out of the store.

"There would be nothing wrong with that, you know?"

He sent me a very skeptical look.

I sighed. Twenty years old, it was a little young to not believe in love, already.

"No, in fact, this girl is schizophrenic" Edward said, ignoring my last thoughts.

I sent him a startled glance.

"I swear! It really took me by surprise, but she hears voices in her head. It was so weird…"

_There is someone who shouldn't talk!_ I couldn't help to think.

"Hey! I heard that!"

"It's my point!"

* * *

(Let me know, please, if I do a lot of mistakes. English is not my first language, so I would like to know if it shows in my writing. If you could just tell me if my English is good enough to write stories it would be wonderful! Or you can just tell me if you liked it or not...)

I have another chapter in store, so maybe I'll post it soon. (I just have to translate it... so it could happen sooner if I have a lot of reviews, because I would be more motivated to do it...)

I hope you liked it!


	3. The only exam Edward ever failed

First, I would like to thank Jingle For Goldfish for correcting my chapter.

And thanks to all the people who let a review, it's appreciated.

I had a lot of fun writing it, I hope you like it!

* * *

**The only exam Edward ever failed…**

_Edward PoV_**  
**

For the first term of school since my change, I was doing well. My thirst was relatively under control and I could focus. Yes, I could be proud. Well, Carlisle was, and that pleased me.

It had been nearly five years since I became a vampire. And since Esme could control her thirst enough that she didn't need a chaperon anymore, I could go back to school.

I chose to register in the Physics program at the university. I was really interested in medicine, but I was definitely not ready for that. So physics. I liked the university's environment. There was a lot of activity in my study's area, with all these new relativity theories and, recently, the quantum theory, and all Newton's Laws being questioned. The humans were discovering that, maybe, the world was bigger than they thought, and it was fascinating.

For me, since I was a vampire, it was very easy to remember all the new information. But it was all new. I was learning about new concepts I didn't know anything about, and for the first time since 1918, I felt like someone and I was interested in the world around me. I liked novelty. It made me forget that I myself had stopped changing five years ago. It made the whole situation more… bearable? Yeah, bearable was the right word. Even if it was hard to blend in, between my appearance and my extraordinary capacities, which I still couldn't quite control… Who would have thought a vampire could actually have a headache? Sometimes, there were just too many foreign thoughts in my head for my mental health.

But I was doing my best to shut them in the back of my head so they were just a background hum. It was hard sometimes.

Finally, it was the end of term. One last exam before the winter vacation. That was making me laugh internally. A vampire on vacation…

The gym, used as an examination class for the occasion, was full. It was time. I could hear the nervous thoughts around me.

_Crap! What was the Bernoulli differential equation, again?_

_Ok, calm down. I could do it yesterday, there is no need to be nervous. Zen. Ah no! I'll never be able to do it. Integrals don't like me!_

_Pfff… I would bet anything I won't be able to finish it…_

_Shit! Why am I nervous? I have the best marks! If I fail, everybody fails! Well, maybe not Cullen…_

_Why am I here? I don't understand anything! It's useless! Anyway, I have better things to do than study. I'm not made for that. I'd prefer activities more like last night, it was a lot more fun…_

I glanced briefly to the guy at my right side. He was starting to produce mental images about a young blond girl who… Irk!

No, I didn't want to know! If only they could pass the exams, so he wouldn't think about… that! I didn't want to learn more about that aspect of the human species in a math exam, thank you very much!

_Ok, it's time!_

Alleluia!

"Quiet everybody!" said Mrs. Bones. "It's started!"

Then everybody shut up and jumped on their papers. All the thoughts focused on the exam, to my greatest relief.

Mrs. Bones was the only woman on the teaching staff of the Physics department, but she had a very strong personality and didn't take flak from anyone. She wasn't one of my professors, but she was asked to watch the examination. She scanned the room quickly. Then her stare stopped on me.

_Jesus Christ! This guy is a god! Wow!_

I looked up from my exam and my eyes fell on hers. It wasn't the first time someone thought something like this about me, but still… She was staring at me indecently. Usually, humans didn't stare at me for long. It was instinctive. Somehow, they could sense the predator.

Bored, I went back to my exam.

Wow! Such eyes! I wonder how old he is… Considering his school grade… At least twenty… Maybe more… Still, with his face, no more than twenty-five… So an age difference of fifteen years… Hell, don't mind his age, this guy is Adonis' personification! He has the most beautiful eyes I ever saw! And this face! An angel fallen from Heaven! And his lips…

Ok! It was starting to become awkward. I tried with all I had to block her out… without any success. Was it me or were her thoughts a lot louder than all the other's in the whole gym together? I ended up just bending a little further over my exam, hoping to block her view. Wrong move. She moved her chair just in front of my row, to have a better view. Arg…

Strong shoulders! He seems rather muscled! Imagine… His strong arms around my waist, his hands on…

My eyes became wide with was she was picturing. I always had been a gentleman. I would never… never… Irk! Her… fantasies? … were worse than anything I had seen in my neighbour's memory earlier. Or ever. Around the university, I was used to guys who would think about this kind of thing, from time to time. But usually, I would go away or concentrate harder on the lecture and I would succeed more or less in not thinking about it. Also, I fell sometimes on some disturbing images in Carlisle or Esme's mind, but they were careful around me and I never saw anything too shocking. And it was definitely the first time someone included me in that kind of scene. There weren't a lot of girls at the university, and even fewer in physics.

…_and his lips… And I would kiss…_

Help! I wasn't ready to see that about me! It was very, very disturbing, and disgusting, and repulsive, and… I couldn't concentrate on anything! I was just doing my best to not understand any of the images that were flowing in my mind.

And then…

And then her fantasies became worse and worse, more and more disgusting, awful, unnatural…

I couldn't take it any more. I stood up quickly, doing my best to ignore her stare that was mentally undressing me, studying my grace, the way I moved so she could perfect these… things in her twisted mind. I handed in my not-even-half-finished paper and rushed toward the exit.

Never again! I never wanted to be in that kind of position again! Her stare… Her thoughts… Euk!

I only hoped she wasn't going to teach me next term. Or ever. Well, I had the holidays to try to forget anything related to… that… and sex in general… Carlisle had planned a trip to visit some old friends to introduce them to Esme and me. Hopefully, meeting Tanya's coven in Denali would help get those images out of my mind…

* * *

That was the last one I had in store. And I kind of have a big blank in the section "new ideas" of my brain. So don't expect a chapter for a while. But if you have any idea or the draft of an idea, or just a thought about what could become an idea, tell me, it can turn my brain on and help me find inspiration. (It is how I wrote this chapter. Someone challenged me, gave me some restrictions, and it help me a lot to find ideas.)

Well, let me know if you liked it, and I'll try my best to think of another chapter.


	4. Egocentricity

First of all, a big thanks to Jingle For Goldfish for reviewing and correcting this chapter.

I hope you'll like this chapter as much as the others.

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**Egocentricity**

_Edward point of view_**  
**

I still couldn't understand what I was doing here. How had Carlisle managed, once again, to convince me to go with him and Esme to this reception? Absolute mystery! They didn't often attend this kind of event, preferring other kinds of romantic dates. In my case, it was even rarer. Places like this were usually filled with hypocritical people from the high society who couldn't help comparing themselves to the others so they could try to best them. A festival of egocentricity and bad faith. So… What was I doing here again? How I hated this human charade I had to play!

_Erk! What is she wearing? It's almost painful to look at! And this one! She's wearing the same hair clip as me! Who does she think she is? She doesn't even know how to wear it! It looks so much better on me! And I'm just so much prettier than her! No wonder this guy isn't looking at her! They're all at my feet! Because I'm more beautiful than anybody in this room. They're all staring at me. I am sure all the girls are envious!_

My God! This one was reaching an unprecedented level of pretentiousness. How I hated this kind of places! From a distance, I heard another girl welcome Miss Perfect.

"I'm so glad you could come! I though you had other obligations, tonight!"

Which was in complete contradiction with her thoughts:

_Couldn't she be sick for once? It's always her who gets to be the star! It's so unfair! It's just because she's blonde. Blonde and perfect. She's getting on my nerves! And it had to be the day the Cullens finally join the good society! Now, she will surely try and seduce him, and I won't stand a chance! I hate her!_

I nearly growled when I recognized the voice. Lucy. She was the sister of a boy I was paired with on a school project. She had been trying to seduce me herself since the first time she saw me. Her fantasies were disgusting.

Miss Perfect answered warmly.

"I know, but it has been such a long time since I last saw you! So I made an effort to rearrange my schedule."

_As if I would miss such an occasion to show everybody my superiority! She will have to face it, someday; she'll never be as beautiful as I am. She's so jealous!_

Erk! If I heard any more, I would surely be sick! I tried hard to chase their foul thoughts from my head. I tried to concentrate on Carlisle and Esme, to clear my head, but they were thinking about each other, so I hurried to find another distraction. I didn't need those images in my brain on top of everything else. Unfortunately, there wasn't anything remotely interesting around me on which I could fix my thoughts. So I ended up sitting in a corner, pretending to nurse a drink, surrounded by the stench of the hors d'oeuvre and the hypocritical thoughts of the good people of the high society. What a bad evening! My face contorted in disgust that could easily pass for haughty. That, at least, would blend in with the present ambiance.

Why was time going by so slowly? I stared at the wall on the other side of the ballroom, trying to drown all the voices in an incomprehensible flow. But some comments would pierce above the rest now and then, all more vain and foul than the other. Why, as soon as there was money in the equation, did humans start eating each other, instead of sticking together?

_Edward Cullen._

Reflex reaction. I turned toward the voice. It was Lucy. Again.

"He is so beautiful, isn't he?" She was going into raptures to her friend. "He is a friend of my brother. He came over our house for schoolwork. I think he likes me."

_Well, it may as well be true. And maybe if she thinks he likes me, she won't try to charm him herself._

The girls looked up toward me in the exact moment I turned away, disgusted. I found Miss Perfect's indignation nearly funny.

_How dare he! He should be head over heels over me, like the others! Does he think he is better than me? I am completely out of his reach! I am indubitably beautiful, and he is only…_

I could feel her anger reach new levels.

_How dare he be more beautiful than me? No! He is not beautiful! How dare he look scornfully at me? I'll teach him what it costs to give me the cold shoulder. By the end of the evening, he'll be at my feet! _

Lucy was exulting.

_Wow! He didn't even look at her! Maybe he is into brunettes? I still have a chance, finally! I should take it!_

"We should go and talk to him," she suggested.

Miss Perfect only nodded, still staring at me. "Her prey," like she thought of it. Ironic…

But I suddenly caught on to what they were about to do. Were they really going to fight over me? I was tempted to take flight, but it was too late. They were at my table before I could fly away.

"Edward! What a surprise!" Lucy exclaimed, as if she noticed me only a few moments ago. "We never have the chance to see you at these kind of events! Can we join you?" she asked, pointing to the chairs at my side.

I was tempted to say no, but my good upbringing stopped me, so I nodded. She gave me a smile she thought seductive while sitting at my side.

_Pathetic! As if he would look at her while I am there, _Miss perfect thought, bringing my attention back to her.

She gave me a purposely-timid smile and looked right in my eyes, with a stare supposedly irresistible, sitting with calculated movements to emphasize her charms. She was as pathetic as her friend if you asked me.

_And now, he'll blush and look away, while stuttering a compliment. He'll be head over heels for me in no time._

I had a hard time trying not to roll my eyes. Even if I could blush, with all the things I heard in the heads of everybody in the last years, it wasn't the artificially shy smile of a still innocent girl who would make me feel self-conscious.

_So Edward! Having fun?_ Carlisle teased me as he passed by nearby while dancing with Esme. _You're very popular with the ladies tonight, as I can see!_

Ha, ha! Really funny! Maybe I should tease him about his nurses more often! It would teach him!

But Esme was feeling more excited than teasing, to my great horror.

_Oh, Edward! You should ask them to dance!_

No way!

_You promised you would try to have fun_, she reminded me.

"Try" being the key word. I did try, it obviously didn't work, and dancing wouldn't help, that was for sure.

_Come on!_ she persisted when I didn't react, _ask a girl to dance!_

I sighed. Well, if it would make Esme happy…

I stood up and turned toward the two girls.

"If you will please excuse me, ladies," I said with my most polite tone, "but I have a promise to keep. I hope we'll have other opportunities to get to know each other."

I gave them my best smile and I left them there. They stayed stunned for a while before they understood what just happened. Their insulted thoughts were enjoyable.

_Edward!_ Esme scolded.

And Carlisle was trying his best not to laugh out loud.

I scanned quickly the room, to find the best candidate. I finally found a young girl who was staying in the background, staring at the room and the guests with wonder. She was one of the few who weren't trying to show off or belittle the others in their head, who weren't bringing everything back to themselves. In fact, her dress was of poor value, in comparison with the others', she wasn't wearing much jewelry, and she wasn't drawing attention with her looks, either.

_I can't believe my father obtained invitations to this party! It's so wonderful! Like a fairy tale!_

I stopped in front of her.

"Good evening, milady," I greeted her.

_It's impossible, someone pinch me, I must be dreaming! Here is Prince Charming!_

It took me a lot not to let my irritation show on my face. For Esme, I reminded myself.

"May I have the pleasure to ask you to this dance?"

Her head emptied for a few moments. Then, she blushed deeply when she regained her cerebral functions and shyly agreed. Behind me, I could hear the total incredulity coming out of the two pests.

_How dare he! This miserable scum! How could he turn me down like this, and for what? That? She's ugly, way too skinny, her dress is out-of-fashion and so poor looking, and she can't even dance right! He must do it on purpose, just to get on my nerves! He wants to make me jealous, maybe. I'll show him what it cost to play with me like this! He'll be sorry when I'm through with him!_

_She can't seriously interest him? He must have some secret goal here. It's impossible. Maybe it's a bet? I can't see any other explanation._

They were really starting to get on my nerves. And the girl I was dancing with, as it turned out, wasn't any better.

_Oh my God! He's so, so beautiful! A true Prince Charming! Maybe he'll disappear at midnight! Wow! I can't believe it! And he's dancing with me? I'll surely wake up soon! Wow! What a perfect face! Is he an angel?_

God, this dance was going to be long! Was physical appearance all that mattered for the humans? I was relieved when the music finally stopped. I left the girl with a kiss on her hand. She stayed stunned there, hand still in the air, eyes empty, for at least three whole minutes. Seriously!

Further, Miss Perfect was boiling with rage.

_If he thinks he can get away with that, he has another thing coming to him! All the men want me, and I'll prove that he is no different!_

So she left her friend behind to come back to see me. Couldn't she give up? Ironically, she was one of the few who couldn't care less about me, after all. She just wanted to prove her irresistibility. But why did she have to keep insisting?

"Will you ask me to dance?" she asked me.

_I won't let it go until he says yes. He'll have to admit at some point that he wants me!_

Such pretentiousness! And such persistence! Luckily, I didn't have to bear her very often; it would end in bloodshed for sure. I glanced at my watch, looking for an escape. Thank God! It was late enough for me to slip away without drawing suspicion.

"I am sorry," I answered. "It's late, and I'll have to go. Maybe next time?"

Which would never happen, because I would never put a toe in this kind of place again!

"We haven't been properly introduced, yet," Miss Perfect pointed out.

She held out her hand.

"Rosalie Hale."

"Edward Cullen," I answered, kissing her hand, in accordance with the custom.

And finally, I could flee from this damned place.

_Someday, you'll be at my feet, Edward Cullen!_

And, with a little luck, I wouldn't cross the path of Rosalie Hale ever again!

* * *

So, what did you think? Did you enjoy it? Let me know! It really encourage me. And if you have any suggestion for another one shot, or a challenge, tell me, it helps me finding new ideas!

Next time, I have a story with Alice! It can takes some time, but it shouldn't be _too _long, before the next update.


	5. Checkmate

Hi, everybody!

First of all, I would like to thank Jingle For Goldfish for reviewing and correcting this chapter.

Thanks to all my reviewers, too. I really appreciate your comments.

And now, enjoy!

* * *

**Checkmate**

_Alice's point of view_

"Checkmate!"

Emmett frowned, looking hopelessly for a way out. He growled when he couldn't find one.

"That's impossible, you cheated," he grumbled, like the sore loser he was.

"But Emmett, you can't cheat at chess," I teased him.

At first, he had challenged Jasper to a wrestling match as soon as he understood that we had come to join their coven.

"It's an initiation rite among us Cullens. To see what you're made of." he had stated.

Esme had protested vehemently and had forbidden him from wrestling with guests, or else he would be sorry. He had tried to argue that we weren't guests, now, but family, but she wouldn't budge.

So, one thing leading to another, what was supposed to be a fight against Jasper ended up being a game of chess against me. And I just annihilated him.

"I want a rematch!" he said, furiously putting the pieces back on the board.

"You'll lose again," I warned him.

I could already see the outcome of the game. Emmett was not very good at chess. He didn't think enough. Throw in my gift, and he didn't stand a chance. Not that he was aware of my gift, yet. Edward and he weren't there when we explained the situation to Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie, and when they came back from hunting, between Edward who was indignant about finding all his things in the garage (I saw that he would forgive me quickly) and Emmett who was challenging us to do stupid things, we postponed the explanation of the details. And it was more fun to beat Emmett at chess when he still didn't have a clue.

"Emmett Cullen never loses twice at a stupid game!" he sang, putting the last pawn in place.

Rosalie snorted from the second floor, where she was reading a book about mechanics (stopping from time to time to look at herself in the mirror and put a strand of hair back in place).

"Is that why last week I won four times in a row?" she scoffed.

"I let you win!" he countered.

"And Edward, you always let him win, I guess?"

"But Edward cheats, so it doesn't count either!"

Sure!

"Well, know, Emmett, that Alice never loses at chess," said Jasper. "She has a gift for that game."

Emmett was about to protest some more when a sudden idea stopped him.

"Never, you say?"

And I could see what he was about to do moments before he did.

"Edward!" he called, "come and play chess with Alice! I want to see you lose, for once!"

"Leave me alone, Emmett, I'm busy."

Indeed, he was busy reorganizing the music room into a decent bedroom and putting his things in it (which apparently required reclassifying all his vinyls in alphabetical order). He was sulking, too. He still hadn't forgiven me. Oh well. I saw that he would, before long.

"Come on," Emmett insisted. "If you beat her, you'll be avenged! Supposedly, she never loses. Nice challenge, isn't it? Finally an opponent at your level!"

Edward hesitated, but I already knew he would agree. I couldn't see the outcome of the game, yet. He had to be a really good player. But with my gift, as soon as the game started, I could see any move my opponent planed and see the consequences of each. I never lost a game. After all, Emmett was right. I cheated.

"All right," Edward finally agreed, like I knew he would.

The next moment, he was sitting in front of me, where Emmett had been seconds ago. He turned the board around, to give me the whites (which Emmett had arbitrarily assigned to himself, earlier).

"Ladies first," he said gallantly.

So, I moved a first pawn forward, to open the game. I could already see the moves he planed to make. He wasn't really sure yet, so my visions were still blurred. He moved a pawn in his turn. I was a few moves ahead, analyzing the best way to counter his tactics. Hmm… If I moved my bishop to B5 in four turns, he would be in check. And then, after five more turns, check again, and…

He suddenly changed his mind. Crap. Now, he was going to put my king in check in six turns. I tried to rectify the shot. Yes. If I moved my rook to A6 and I captured his bishop with my knight, I could put him in check in ten turns. I moved a second pawn. Perfect.

But while I was looking further, the future shifted again. He would capture my queen in five turns, then a rook, and a bishop, and he would put me in check in twelve turns, and again in fifteen, and I would be in checkmate the next turn.

I frowned. How could he manipulate the future like this? It was as if he knew. He smirked at me while moving a second pawn on his turn.

I focused on the future again, trying to find a way out. Maybe if I moved a bishop instead of a rook in seven turns… Then, I could capture his queen and his rook… I could put him in check in thirteen turns, and…

He readjusted his strategy again. I would be in checkmate in twenty turns. Crap! Could he see the future too, or what? He was starting to get on my nerves with all his last-second changes of plan! And why was he smiling like that? Ah! If he thought he could laugh at me…

Jasper and Emmett were starting to give us funny looks. Well, from their point of view, it must have looked weird. We had moved a grand total of four pieces -all pawns- and I was staring at the board with intense concentration, and a bit of hopelessness, which corresponded more with the nail-biting last turns of a game than with the first ones. And Edward was staring at me, as concentrated as I was, but with the satisfied look of someone who knows he is about to win. I was going to make him eat back his annoying, superior little smirk!

Maybe if I moved my queen to G3 in ten turns, then I could capture both his rooks in fifteen turns and he… would put me in check, but… Yes! Bingo! Checkmate in twenty-five turns! There!

He frowned a little at my victorious smile, losing his confidence for a second, then… NO! He would capture my bishop instead of my rook in four turns, and beat me in seventeen turns! How was he doing this? His smug smirk was wider than ever. He had a trick. There was no other way.

And if I moved my rook to… Checkmate in twenty turns. Crap! My bishop?… Checkmate in nineteen turns… Maybe later?… Checkmate in thirteen turns…

Shit! I couldn't believe it! I ran through all the possibilities I could think of in my head. Checkmate in sixteen turns… twenty-two turns… thirty turns… ten turns… nineteen turns… seven turns…

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap…

It was no good. Reluctantly, I knocked over my king to show my defeat. Edward had the nerve to chuckle at my put-out expression.

"Huh? What?" Jasper exclaimed. "You lost?"

He obviously couldn't believe it, throwing his incredulity on everybody without meaning to.

"Wait a sec! What the hell just happened?" Emmett added, completely lost. "So what? You're staring into each other eyes for five minutes, and then you give up? What the hell is that?"

"It's useless," I admitted, annoyed. "Whatever I do, I end up losing."

And it was horribly frustrating!

"But you didn't even play!"

"There's no need," Edward explained mockingly. "She already knows she can't win this game."

I threw him a dark look.

"Come on, how did you do it? It seemed like you could see every move I thought about!" I accused him.

He wasn't allowed to win using the same tactic as me! It was cheating!

He only raised an eyebrow.

No… He couldn't see the future too, it would be too big of a coincidence…

"Not exactly," Edward interjected, attracting an intrigued look from Jasper and an annoyed one from Emmett.

My eyes went big when I understood. Then, I frowned. He _had_ seen all the moves I planned. He saw all I saw! The dirty cheater! He stole my tactic! He couldn't!

Edward laughed as he stood up. I had a vision just in time to duck when he tried to tousle my hair.

"Sore loser!" he said, going back organizing his new room, still with this annoying victorious smug smirk.

_Cheater!_ I thought at him.

I heard him laugh from the second floor. He seemed in a way better mood than before this stupid game. He was annoying me.

Humph…

I knew he would forgive me quickly about the room thing…

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I hope you liked it! Let me know!

And, I am sorry to say it, but don't expect another chapter for a while, I don't have any other idea for the moment, and it can take me a while to find an idea. If you have any suggestion, tell me, it helps me a lot finding inspiration.

Thanks for reading me!


	6. I knew it was coming, though

Hi everybody! I know it's been a while. In fact, I wrote this chapter around a year ago, but I have been really lazy about translating it, so it took me a while. And on top of that, I couldn't reach my beta, so I didn't have anyone correcting this chapter. So you'll probably find more mistakes in it (and maybe some sentences will be a bit weird, since English is not my first language), and I am sorry for that. You can tell me if you find some mistakes, by the way.

So, here is my latest chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

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**I knew it was coming, though**

_Edward's point of view_

I stared with irony at the pieces of my piano before me, ignoring the startled looks and thoughts I was getting.

It wasn't like I didn't have time to see this one coming. I knew it would happen, someday. I knew it since the first day she came into my life. I knew since even before that idiot did his U-turn, at the very beginning. I knew someday, I would have to face this situation. And I knew that, in reality, I wanted that for her. Sincerely. But a part of me would have liked it not to happen, even if I wasn't naïve enough to think it wouldn't ever happen.

Damn.

I knew it would happen someday, and I should have gotten myself ready for it. Especially lately. All the signs were there. But I pretended not to see them. I looked the other way. I tried really hard not to even think about it. Because I didn't want to think about it. Just the idea made me shudder. And that behaviour resulted with a broken piano. My poor piano… I sent it a saddened look.

I would have to get used to it, though. After all, it was just the beginning. I was realistic enough to know it wasn't a one-time thing. On the contrary, I knew the situation would only worsen from now. Well… worsen for me. And there wasn't a single thing I could do about it, because that was what she wanted. And it would happen more and more, and be always harder to stomach. And I would do nothing to stop it. Well… nearly nothing. I still had my limits. The next days… months… years would be really hard. Life could be so tough!

Well, it wasn't like I didn't see it coming. I knew since the start it would happen. And, in a way, it was only life getting back at me. I was gifted with more than I could ever ask, so now, I would have to bear… this. Until the end of time. But for her, I would do it. I would do anything for her sake. Even accepting… this… without batting an eyelid… much… And I didn't need to be confronted to the situation to know I would. It was something that went without saying. But it was going to be hard.

I sighed. Yes, I knew it would happen for years. But I wasn't ready yet. I think I would never have been ready anyway. And it gave me a shock. One of the worst shocks in all my life.

I was playing piano when the stupid mutt came in with Bella.

Though I saw it coming, nothing could have prepared me for that. No. Nothing could have prepared me to hear the "_Wow, I never realized, but Jake is sexy! Wonder how it would feel kissing him…_" that Renesmee suddenly thought when she saw him.

And now, I would have to buy a new piano. The damages I accidentally inflicted on this one weren't repairable.


	7. Detention

****Hi! I'm back with a new chapter! First, I would like to thank Jingle For Goldfish for reviewing and correcting my chapter.

And second, enjoy your reading!

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**Detention**

_Edward point of view_

Personally, I blame Alice. Oh, of course, Emmett has much to do with this fiasco. But really, he only acted like he always acts. He is predictable and only needs a boost in the right direction to do the stupidest things. No, the real culprit here, the trigger of this mess, the one mainly responsible, it's definitely Alice.

It all began a Friday morning, a few hours before going to school. That morning, I was simply talking with Jasper. What started as a discussion about a hunting trip for the weekend had slowly evolved into a deep debate about the consequences of having foreign thoughts or emotions inside our heads, and the headaches that came with it. I really liked that about Jasper. With Emmett, it was impossible to have a serious conversation.

Then Alice came down from her room, after having spent a few hours choosing her outfit for the day, and helping Rosalie do the same. She went straight to sit on Jasper's knees, and she turned to me.

"You'll have to delay your hunting trip a few hours," she announced suddenly. "I'm not sure how you'll manage to earn it, Edward, but you are going to have a detention after school, tonight."

She showed me a vision of myself, copying lines, to prove her point. I raised an eyebrow, a bit skeptical. And I wasn't the only one.

"Edward? In detention?" Emmett guffawed, joining us in the lounge. "As if Edward would dare to do something cool enough at school to end up in detention. It could ruin his perfect student's reputation! Eh! I bet even as a human he was every teacher's pet!"

"Don't worry, Emmett, I have no intention to waste my time in detention. I have better things to do."

"Like what? Homework?"

Ignoring Emmett's last comment, I consciously decided to behave irreproachably today, and I was rewarded with Alice's vision becoming dimmer.

"Oh no!" Emmett protested when he saw my smile. "No way you can escape this! I will personally make sure that you do this detention! Be ready to endure long hours of detention, brother!"

_And I'll make sure it's humiliating! That'll teach him to laugh at me when I get a detention. Like last time. It's not my fault if the school material is so fragile!_

I laughed, thinking about that time. Lets just say it involved a chemistry laboratory, some too fragile vials, a few products not to mix, a sticky, stinking substance in his hair, a smashed wall and the unexpected arrival of a teacher at the wrong time. And myself, I was at the forefront for the whole thing, and I got away without even a telling off. Hilarious!

_Shut up, you!_ Emmett added mentally. _Tonight, I'll be the one to laugh when you'll be copying lines! He who laughs last laughs best!_

Then, he left the room to think about his plan. I rolled my eyes. If it was one of the others, maybe I would have worried. Jasper, for example, was coldly calculating and a very good strategist. Rosalie, meanwhile, was just vicious, and Alice was completely unscrupulous. But Emmett was messy, impulsive and thoughtless. And he was terrible at making plans, and even worse at putting them into action. There was a better chance that he would end up in detention himself than get me sent there. I could hear him planning in the next room, and I had to refrain myself from rolling my eyes.

_What if I only tried to make him late? I would only have to hold him until the bell rang, easy! Well... that is if I can catch him, of course… And that would make me late too… Anyway, it's not really funny… Maybe if I stole his homework, so he can't turn it in…But knowing him, he'll just find an excuse, and since he is every teacher's pet, they'll just swallow everything he says, and he won't get in trouble. Totally unfair! What about if I made some additions in his homework, instead? Oh yeah! That could be funny! I could add plenty of indecent comments in his notebooks! If a teacher was to see this, Edward would never live it down____!_

Now, I was completely astounded by his stupidity. Did that moron realize that I could hear everything he just thought?

_____I know!_ Emmett mentally exclaimed as he found another brilliant idea_____, __I'll make the English teacher find a condom in his stuff!_ _That will earn him a detention for sure! Mrs. Robins is so_ uptight! She'll probably have a heart attack!

I nearly burst out in laughter again. Did he really think an idea like that could work? First, he didn't know Mrs. Robins at all! And second, he didn't even half plan his idea! There were so many ways I could turn the blame on him. By drawing the attention to him when he tried to slip the condom in my bag, for example.

And he continued his dubious planning all the way to school. Then, he tried clumsily to put all his crappy ideas into action at once…

First, he tried to steal my homework, while I was busy answering a question at the board. It could have worked if he hadn't thought about it all morning. Therefore, he only found an empty notebook and a note addressed to him. I had seen him coming, so I had let all my things in my locker. He also left an obscene note on my desk, but the teacher never saw it, and I quickly got rid of it.

By third period, he had somehow got his hand on a few condoms (I didn't even want to know where he found them). In the end, it was somewhat entertaining. He chose to act in Mrs. Robins' class, thinking she would react the worst. But he didn't know Mrs. Robins.

He had planned to throw the incriminating condom while I was walking past the teacher's desk, to make it seem like I dropped it. So, I carefully timed my entrance and she didn't even see anything. Therefore, Emmett had to insist.

"You dropped something, Edward!" he said loudly, drawing the teacher's attention to me.

I pretended to search my pockets.

"No, I didn't lose anything," I answered, looking around, feigning confusion.

Behind me, Mrs. Robins spotted the condom that had landed right next to her desk.

_Oh no!_ she thought fearfully. _Is that really what I think it is?_

I had to stop myself from sending Emmett a mocking smile. If he only knew, he would never have chosen this specific class for his ploy!

Then, I pretended to find the condom and, keeping an expression of incomprehension, I picked it up, under the panicked stare of Mrs. Robins.

"Is it yours?" I asked Mrs. Robins, with a carefully bewildered, though still polite, face, like the model student she thought I was.

Blushing, she hastily took the condom and hid it in her desk.

_Oh no! Andrew must have dropped it this morning!_ she thought, embarrassed. _It's a miracle nobody else had seen it yet. I hope Edward doesn't make a scene!_

_No way!_ Emmett thought from the corridor.

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen," Mrs. Robins said. "I'm counting on you to be discreet about this incident. Now, you can go back to your seat," she concluded a bit shortly from the embarrassment.

_What? _mentally protested Emmett, while going away to his own classroom. _How did he do that? How could she think it was hers? She does it in her classroom? Mrs. Robins? In her _classroom_? And Edward, that bastard, he knew it! He did that on purpose! Arg! How can he always get away with everything? He pisses me off!_

Eh! If he had asked, I could have told him that Mrs. Robins' classroom was often the scene of her adventures with the concierge. She actually thought about it a bit too much for my taste…

Emmett was so baffled by the news he left me alone until fifth period. Then, he slipped in my bag a notebook full of comments… well… à la Emmett… But by the time he found a reason to make the teacher look at my stuff, I had already stashed the notebook in my neighbor's backpack. He would probably make a funny face when he found it…

Finally, the last period came and still no detention! But, as Mr. Wilson was coming to me to give me back a corrected homework, Emmett acted without thinking.

"Here!" he exclaimed, throwing me another condom. "Have fun tonight!"

That idiot! I hastily shoved the thing in my pocket. Too late.

"What have you here?" Mr. Wilson asked me.

"Matches," I lied confidently. "I know we aren't really supposed to have them in class," I continued sheepishly, "but, with Jasper, we were planning on going hiking and camping for the weekend, tonight, so I asked Emmett to lend me his matches, since he didn't want to come along. Are you going to confiscate them?" I asked guiltily.

"Oh no," Mr. Wilson reassured me. "You can keep them. As long as you don't light any in class, I don't see any problem."

Then, he held out my homework to me.

"I wanted to congratulate you for your good work," he explained. "I could see that you really put the required time on it. Your research is complete, and your references are solid. I'm glad that your absence two weeks ago didn't cause you too much trouble, and that you could catch up on your own. However…"

As Mr. Wilson continued his speech, behind me, Emmett was seething.

_Matches! Really! How does he do to always get away with everything? Matches! And that daft teacher actually swallowed that! Edward, you're pissing me off! You… You, teacher's pet! You, cheater! You're a real pain in the ass! Someday, you'll pay! I'll make you eat Alice's makeup!_

Right! As if Alice would let him! In a near classroom, she already had a vision of Emmett's plans, and she was preparing her vengeance. I snickered at the image of Alice feeding Emmett something else than makeup.

___Did he just laugh while I was explaining to him the importance of my course?_

Oops…

"Mr. Cullen, sit down. You'll come to see me at the end of the class," Mr. Wilson snapped.

So, really, I blame Alice!

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So, I hope you liked it! (leave a review to let me know, it always encourage me) And if you have any comment, either good or bad, don't hesitate. Bad reviews are good for improvement!

I have no other chapter already planned, so it could take a while before I add another chapter (that is if I add another chapter at all, but since it started as a one chapter story, and it now has seven, I'm quite confident I'll end up finding some new idea eventually...). I always welcome suggestions or challenges, it help me find new ideas.

Finally, thanks to every one who left a review in the previous chapters. I really appreciate them.


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